Mind is trapped!

The Adarsh August 23, 2024

Result was 233/720. I knew what's going to happen! Dad will call me and scold me. I was distressed. Really! I told myself next time I'm going to make some changes. I will speak through my actions. And when the day of the test came, I didn't even realize it. I wasted my whole time till now. And the day of the test arrives on 18 August 2024. Guess what? I was again doing emergency study and panicked, and even I don't know how I managed to make 133. In previous tests, at least I had bio as my only strong subject. Only because of biology do I manage to get 3-digit marks. This time even I lacked in biology. This time it was so shameful for me to enter the test room. I forgot to tell you I had a fever and headache 2 days before the exam, but literally I was using my phone all the time and neglecting my studies. And my results successfully reflected all this. Literally, when I came to know in the classrooms that results were out, shame and guilt inside me hijacked my mind. I checked out my result via my friend's phone, and he told me my marks. It was so disappointing for me to accept the results of action. I literally cried a few drops in the classroom. Maybe I was seeking someone to hold me and console me. But in the crowd of there's was no one except me. I managed myself and made the decision to leave the coaching so that I could at least save my father's hard-earned money. I made myself ready to face all this and to collect the courage to tell dad. I can't do this anymore. But only I knew how hard it would be for me. While returning home, I was thinking something, and there's one more instance. I'll tell you later about that. So yeah, while returning, I was praying ke aaj daat nah pade. I got rebuked. Yk? The pain of guilt inside me is more than that rebuking event.

This is a very recent event from my life. You can get an idea from this how a trapped mind works; it tries to make itself a victim and escape the situation and gives you a fake feeling of grandiosity out of nowhere. Beware! Don't be the slave of your mind!